[WurmWald] Maidens info

[Jenn/Yana]

Posted to the Middlebridge:
=============================

Date: Thu, 15 Dec 2005 09:26:20 -0800
From: Folo Watkins <folo at advancenet.net>
Subject: [Mid] Auk Update

"We have been saved so far by the fact that he is
waddling so slowly," reported an unnamed Royal Defense
Consultant on the Auk who is carving a path of
destruction through Northshield on his way to the
Midrealm. "But we expect it to arrive in Wurm Wald on
the 21st of January, and our crack team of pagan
prognosticators and Christian visionaries predict that
he will be at the Historic Lincoln Hotel in Urbana,
Illinois; one has even gone out on the edge and
predicted that you can find additional information at
http://wurmwald.org/maidens.html."

A massive welcome is planned, featuring dancing,
fighting, an on-site bar and other revelry. Vendors
reportedly will attend, but the number of Auk
souvenirs that will be available is unknown, so "you
may have to satisfy yourself with some the greatest
values in the known world," according to the
consultant. "We are urging the attendance of vendors
selling Penguin-Away Environmental Friendly Herbal
Repellant." They want teachers as well, supposedly to
teach Auk military weak points, but all Auk Military
experts live in Ealdormere, so attendees may have to
settle for classes like mail-making, Recognizing SCA
Rank and whatever classes folk will volunteer to teach
at ecoogan at freeshell.org.

The Auk seems unstoppable by conventional rattan
defenses. The use of a nuclear strike has been held up
by a dispute over authorization. "It's not a %#&***ing
science," reported one marshal. "The Auk is very, very
upset," the consultant said of the extinct, heavily
armed flightless waterfowl that was brought back to
life in a top secret defense laboratory in Ealdormere.
"We're uncertain right now whether 
that is because the Ealdormerian alchemists did not
revive a female auk or because he went extinct in the
first place."

"The big problem," said the consultant, "is that he's
so darned cute." Midrealm alchemists are working on
hideous disguises that they hope to convince him to
put on so that opponents quit saying 'Awwwwww' when
they see him."

Folo News Agency "your source for reliable
fabrications about the known world"


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